Seven Actions for Tuesday

by Chef Steel

in the morning

1. Swipe off oil from the dipstick of a car with your index finger. Make a drawing with that oil on a sheet of paper and leave a finger print.

2. Cut your fingernails and put them in the pocket of your favorite coat. Then forget about them.

3. Cut five hairs from your head, use each to mark pages: 5, 10, 15, 20, 25 in a book you are about to read. Continue this until you read the word “hair” on any of the marked pages.

in the afternoon

4. Place an ice cube on top of a bar of soap. See which melts faster throughout the day.

5. Go to a body of water, and pick a stone out of the water. Place the stone on your open left hand. Walk west until the stone is dry. Drop the stone from your shoulder. Stay where you are until you feel the wind.

6. Into two identical cups, pour identical amounts of water, stir into one of the cups a tablespoon of salt and in the other, sugar. Let evaporate over days. Change them around. Guess which had salt or sugar. Pour water in each to taste.

in the evening

7. Remember a past lover. Smear your lips with jam or honey. Take a three by five card and press it to your lips. Let it dry completely. Put it in an envelope. Make up a random name and address in a foreign country, be sure there’s more than enough postage, and mail it that night. If the envelope returns, change the name or the country and mail it off again. Repeat until it doesn’t return.